Welcome Guests11-07-2011 This week we had very welcome guests. These particular guests were aware and appreciative of how amazing and special we are. It does happen fairly regularly, which is most appropriate. However, these guests were from England and were better than nearly any other guests who have been here in our lives. They took themselves off to dinner at Brewery Vivant and brought us back fabulous, wonderful marrow bones! We are so excited and grateful, that we risk losing our Most Royal attitudes! They are encouraged to return weekly or daily. On the other hand, it had come to our attention that some so-called similar species (aka, DOGS) are given what is known as "people food". We have not been receiving this specialty. This episode clearly demonstrates that our staff is not making an adequate attempt to satisfy all our wishes. WE believe that treason is involved. An investigation will be launched. Share this postSpot-light Hogging and Unauthorized Touching08-01-2011 Recently, we were waiting in our Peaches Dalmatian chariot for our staff to return from doing whatever it is they do when they're not attending to our immediate personal needs. (We acknowledge how gracious we are to allow them to do other things when they should be serving us.) We heard someone say, "Yes, Peaches...that's where Edgar the Dragon lives and the two Dalmatians." We were horrified to hear that, not only were we mentioned in the same sentence as this usurping & annoying dragon, but that we were mentioned SECOND. This Edgar person has been hogging our spotlight for several years now & quite frankly, we are more than slightly put out by it. People actually stop to take his photo. It even appears that our staff also like him and are therefore unwilling to consign him to the Tower or someplace else suitably medieval and dank. We shall have to speak to the constabulary & the legislature about this clear affront to our rights as The Most Royal Dalmatians. And speaking of affronts to our persons, we must strenuously and doggedly object to the rampant fondling of our royal hairs when we are out in public. All fondling must be done at our whim & with our express consent only. After all, would people molest the Queen or the Empress in such daring & presumptuous ways? What HAS the world come to? (or, more accurately, To what HAS the world come?) Share this postPeasant Princesses07-02-2011 Apparently, brides, who seem to be considered princesses for the day, consider it acceptable to expect audiences and photos with our most royal & beautiful selves. We, of course, are aware that we are the most important & fabulous addition to their day & album. Clearly, it would be difficult for any other event to compete with the awesomeness of being photographed with us, the most gorgeous & regal spotted personages. However, there is a serious lack of appropriate food-related compensation for this activity. We will have to speak to the castle staff and our scheduling secretaries about this oversight. On the other hand, we are amenable to granting audiences for this ritual to our loyal subjects as a gesture of our goodwill...and also for any potential food-type gratuities. Share this postHolidays & Royalty01-05-2011 Ah, holidays. Family descended upon us, thereby restricting our nap time to less than our usual 22 1/2 hours a day. The benefit to our precious selves is that they are completely trainable and can be taught to give us food nearly any time we ask. Singing always works...and often for people food! Alas, our favorite food providers have now departed and we are left with DOGfood. This is not a pleasant thought. At least we can now catch up on our sleep. Additionally, it has come to our attention that another royal party is in town. We were not consulted. Our embassy was not advised. The niceties have not been observed. We are not amused. Apparently this so-called Princess has received rave reviews and is staying at someplace called the GRAM. Although we do not condone extra princesses in town, we still believe they should be staying at our most royal residence. We will contact our agents and our staff regarding this issue. We will get back to you with our official statement. Share this postArtPrize...09-22-2010 We, the royal Dalmatians, have decided that "ArtPrize" is not good. There are people. Everywhere. It's like a giant party...but with NO food. How is this possible? Today, our staff forced us into servitude, for which we are clearly not designed. Well...maybe a little, since mostly we were supposed to attract attention and look decorative, which is what we do best. BUT, it was all a ploy for their own ulterior motive: drawing more PEOPLE to OUR house (Peaches). Again with the "ArtPrize." Furthermore, against all dictates of nature, we were required to pull the Peaches ArtPrize Party Wagon UP Fulton hill. People noticed. We have called PETA and our agent and management. Please write letters to the editor and the government on our behalf, as our opposable thumbs are currently sprained. Our staff seem to have acquired extra minions, who they call "artists". This does not seem to benefit us in any way because they do not seem to be showing the proper respect, kowtowing or deference to our wonderful selves. They have not provided additional or special food. They have not scratched us in the appropriate places. These "artist" minions appear to be useless. AND THEN, our yard has been usurped by "Art". Completely unacceptable. There's even a child who seems to be chasing us every time we venture out. Eventually, we do realize that it's something our staff call a "bronze statue", which must mean "fake chasing child." Certainly it also does not dispense food. HOWEVER, we have been told secretly by our favorite new minion that there might be pulled pork and wine samples on the weekends. We are not sure exactly what those words mean, but they were said with the correct winking & hinting which might indicate that food will be available. We can only hope. Share this post |